can u get pink eye on your cock?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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