The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize