im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
