Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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