you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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