My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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