I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you will always have a special place in my vag
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Randomize
