Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
