she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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