i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
