Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I enjoy the company of your penis
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
