just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
