Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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