spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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