When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
