he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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