I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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