he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
