For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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