went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
should my penis look like a turkey
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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