Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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