Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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