maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
