Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
4 words: hood of his car
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
