He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
