How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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