I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I need a burrito and a hug.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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