Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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