well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
