Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
