You just made me feel so damn special
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
