I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
