Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
i out mim tonsoeep
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
