yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
