Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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