i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
