Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
