Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Randomize
