Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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