We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
