Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
