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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.

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• (925): View more from California

  We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.

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• (714): View more from California

  Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.

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• (408): View more from California

  I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever

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• (631): View more from New York

  Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday

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