Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He uses pillows to masturbate.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
