i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
