Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
