you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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