I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
