I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
My liver just had a heart attack.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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