i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
