My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
