I'm gonna have a badass scar
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
And then my night got REAL pukey
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
