Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
