'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
