I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
