It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
